Today was my first day at my new job and it was a little slow, mostly because it’s the calm before the storm, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I love this job, the people are hilarious and all of them strong Christians, I don’t think my teacher could have placed me in a better environment to grow.
But during this slow day I got the chance to read the book that my loving Momma Grace gave to me back before the school year let out. Though I have yet to complete it, this book is amazing and has made me think a lot about my faith. There is one quote in this book that reflects me a lot and I felt it important to share with you.
“Never let others’ compliments go to your head or their criticisms go to your heart.”
I don’t necessarily agree with the “never” portion of that statement, however, it does have a point. Especially, when it comes down to someone I look up to criticizing me. In June I went on two very important trips. I went Buckeye Girl State (BGS) which is for honor students to learn about government and their role and what you can do about the future, (note this is a very competitive and harsh environment) followed by a Christ in Youth conference.
Now I’ll let you in on a little secret. BGS damaged my self-esteem to a point that I cannot explain, it though very humbling also made me feel very insecure about my future and my plans for college. Now this harsh week followed by a week that like every year turns me into an emotional wreck due to my growing and changing faith. Dash in some additional stress about summer school, a dear friends struggle with sin, and your basic family turmoil and you have my month of June.
Though all statements made were out of love and were in no way meant to hurt me, on the last night a group of us got “called out” so to speak. We were criticized on the way we had been handling a problem and me being the oldest and trying to maintain the trouble having this conversation struck me to the core, I was enraged though I could show it. You see I was upset about the fact that I had worked to keep everyone at terms and calm and it blew up in my face. I don’t do well with failure and I certainly don’t do well when one of the women I look to first for 9/10 of my questions is pretty much smacking my hand and sending me to the corner.
Truth is I took it to heart instead of listening to what I said, I felt like my leadership and my actions were being punished and I was very much disappointed in myself and upset. It was a very, very rough month for me, but now after reading this half of the book I have realized three things;
- Momma is normally right ( I will deny it if asked in person)
- I should have apologized and dealt with the situation that night
- I have to accept criticism that is for my growth and not act like a wounded cow.
Truth is this is probably the first time Momma will realize how mad and hurt I was by that night. Truth is that is possibly the worst month of my life. Truth is I’ve grown because of it. Because criticism from the girls at BGS they won’t hurt me anymore, but the criticism that someone who loves and cares and strives for my development that I’ll listen to that I’ll take to heart, and sometimes, I just have to grow up and put my big girl panties on.
I would revise that quote to this, “Don’t let earthy praises make you prideful, and don’t let those earthly words harm your heart.”